For Em’ because hugs are not always enough, and ‘cause I know how much you love them.
I don’t even know what this is. So… sorry? Inspired by various Saturday Night Live holiday sketches, none of which I own. Title taken from the Season’s Greetings from SNL sketch that is mentioned in the fic.
Thanks to Lola, as always, for the beta.
"When you said that you wanted us to do something together tonight that had to wait until after Henry was put to bed, I wasn’t expecting this," Regina says as she comes down into the basement to see Emma fiddling with the DVD system that’s hooked up to the large home theatre screen.
"You were thinking I’d be wearing sexy Santa lingerie?" Emma smirks over her shoulder.
"Among other things."
"Maybe next year."
Title, as well as general inspiration for this fic, taken from The Gift Of The Magi by O. Henry. No infringement intended.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my readers! Thanks for all the love this year!
Emma stood outside Gold’s pawn shop, fighting with herself about whether or not to actually enter the establishment. She really, really didn’t want to, but she was also at the end of her rope.
Christmas was just a week away and while the rest of her shopping had been relatively easy, there was still one person she needed a gift for. One person who, it was turning out, was impossible to buy for.
There are a lot of things that become Constant Topics of Conversation once they find out they’re having triplets. Emma’s personal favorite topic: Regina’s Fucking Amazing Pregnancy Tits. Regina’s changes depending on the week and time of day. Early in the morning, when she is crabby from lack of sleep and sore muscles, her only topics are getting Henry ready for school and cursing Emma’s magic—although as the months progress, she tries to soften her words (a little). Mid-afternoon, she talks about food. Emma thinks it’s hilarious and, one day, takes screenshots of Regina’s texts over the course of three hours in which she lists her favorite snack foods in every cuisine available in Storybrooke and then some.
(When she sends the pictures to Henry, he bikes over to the grocery store and picks up three boxes of frozen churros. Emma is sure that Regina will refuse, but by the time she gets home, the two of them have eaten a box and a half between them. The third box has Emma’s name written on it in Sharpie and she makes a point to thank Henry out of Regina’s earshot.)
There is a space of about a month and a half, right around month five, when sex comes up as often as food. When sex happens as often as food. Regina starts talking about sex in terms of food and when Emma sleeps through her lunch hour instead of meeting Regina for a quickie, she learns more than the original meaning of ‘aperitif’ before dinner. By month seven, when Regina starts entirely freaking out about her weight gain and refusing to let Emma touch her, Emma is almost grateful. At least, she sleeps like the dead for close to a week, and then remembers that their obstetrician warned against sex after 30 weeks—something about risks to multiples and also magic babies—and does her best to shower Regina with adoration-sex for the week they have left.
But the real Constant Topic of Conversation is names. And at first—when all they know is three babies and are still torn between giddy and petrified—it’s light-hearted and joking and they even spend two afternoons flipping through baby name books from 1983 and searching baby websites for the most outrageous names.
And then it gets real, and shit hits the fan.
Happy December, y’all! I actually started writing this fic last year, but never got it finished. So I decided to knock it out this year as a first of December gift. It’s set sometime in Season 1 before the curse broke. Hope you all enjoy!
Title is taken from the song of the same name, performed by the cast of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels on the BC/EFA Carols For A Cure Volume 8 CD. It also served as a bit of an inspiration for this fic.
"Are you sure about this?" Emma frowns as she takes the paper bag from Ruby’s outstretched hands and sneaks a peek at its contents.
"Positive." Ruby grins at her.
"I don’t know, Rubes."
"Emma, trust me. You wanna get the mayor? This is the way to do it. It’s fool proof."
Emma chews her lip as she once again looks inside the bag. “Really?”
"Fool. Proof." Ruby winks.
Emma should know better.
say something | regina & emma
I AM NOT OKAY. That is fucking beautiful and what kind of sorcery went into making it so quickly? And what even are my feels rn I can’t even begin to process this.
This kind of sorcery is called obsession. I wouldn’t recommend it. Only those who function with high levels of emotions 24/7 can handle.
look. at. the. way. they. look. at. each. uh. ther. gET. OUT. OF. HERE.
WHY.I. just noooooooo too much perfection and sadness!!!